Assalamualaikum and hi my fellow readers! How are you guys doing? I hope it's okay dan dipermudahkan urusan semua. 

  Well, sometimes I do sit alone and rethinking. Rethinking about what? Well, a lot of things. Even sometimes when my days are going smooth, I'll be curious and feel like weird. Yah, because everytime I do like anything, my day will be ruined and yah, I will end up overthinking and crying. 

  Woosh, it really be like that. Well, maybe it's a part of healing too so I dont really care and just like you know, accept it. But sometimes I do ask myself, did I supposed to accept it everytime? Adil ke benda ni jadi kat aku? Worth it ke? Like sometimes la but I always believe that Allah dah set something yang special for me so I need to keep going and trying. Dah aku yang nak sangat lahir then mesti ada something yang betul-betul buat my life happy kann? Please tell me that it will bahahaha. 

  My other side in my brain always tell me to stop. Stop chasing, stop waiting, stop everything but the other side in my heart encourage me to keep going. She said that everything is going to be okay. Everything will be fine. You just need to survive and fight. Well, the best thing is, even zaty ni jenis suka ikut otak dari hati, but when it comes to my life, about something that akan bagi impak besar dalam life zaty, zaty lebih prefer ikut hati. Because (as everyone know la) pilihan hati tu lagi tepat and lagi sesuai berbanding otak. Sometimes your otak tak kisah pun pasal mental health. As long as you have to achieve it then do it lah. Ke otak zaty je macam ni? Entah la bahahaha. 

  And yah almost every second, zaty akan fikir yang zaty dah running out of time. (insert on the ground by rose) Like, zaty kau kena cepat! Orang lain dah jauh tinggal kau! Kau kena kejar diorang. Kau kena bangun! Ignore everything! You need to be where you have to be! If not then give up je. And tak tipu la benda and thoughs macam ni selalu buat zaty sakit kepala.  But I just dont know how to tell it to stop. Like, chill I still got times? But no, otak zaty tak boleh terima jawapan tu. 

  But the other side of me will pujuk me. Chill, dont compare your journey with others. Everyone's got different side of story and mindset. Just because you dont achieve something on times, it dont make you  a failure. Maybe you need to heal first. Bila dah heal baru boleh kejar dengan impian dan harapan kan? 

  Pendek kata la, zaty sometimes positif, sometimes negatif. Sometimes I do love myself and then I hate everything and go to sleep. But maybe it's a healing things. I dont know! But yah, I wish all those things will leave me alone and just let me be me. Hopefully. 

  That's it. I know this is sort of weird but zaty rasa lega bila dah lepaskan thoughs ni. Get well soon, dearself! Anyway, my cat Grimlock sekarang sakit. I'll be taking him to the vet later. Please pray for him. Ok itu je my 1 cent. Bye! 

Labels: life